Never forget to remember

Item: Note.
Description: White paper.
Location: Sackville Street.

Is this a code for something? Or maybe the owner of it has a bad memory so it’s to remind them they’re in Manchester. Which would also explain why the word isn’t finished. Come to think it, they won’t even recall losing this note, so this post is useless.

Littering dustman

Item: Dustcart.
Description: Plastic, two wheels.
Location: Long Millgate, Urbis.

Until the dustman who’s left this cart reclaims it, he’s using other people’s litter to litter. Which I think would make it second hand litter.

Just say no

Item: Spoon.
Description: Stainless steel.
Location: Oxford Road.

I don’t condone drugs, but if you’re the crackhead that misplaced this spoon, you should come get it.

Answers on a postcard/email

Item: Unknown.
Description: Fabric, black, red.
Location: Princess Street.

I’m not really sure what this is because I didn’t want to touch it. But if it resembles something you’ve lost, come grab it.

Welcome to Manchester

Item: Welcome mat.
Description: Palmyra, brown.
Location: Mosley Street.

Manchester must be a really friendly place, because we have welcome mats on roads too. If that was your reason for leaving it on this street, let me know and I’ll remove this post.

It could be yours

Item: Raffle ticket.
Description: Paper, yellow, black.
Location: Watson Street.

After finding this raffle ticket, I tried to find out where it might’ve come from. The nearest place was the manche235ter casino, which was strange because I never thought raffles fell under the casino umbrella. Anyway, whoever owns it, must claim it. A lovely 2 day break in Long Eaton might be awaiting you.

Baggy trousers

Item: Belt.
Description: Black, leather, would fit approx 34 – 36 inch waist.
Location: Princess Street, Manchester.

There’s an obvious explanation for this missing belt – which I found outside Efes all you can eat restaurant. The owner of it must’ve spent lunch in there, and to get his money’s worth he went back for seconds, thirds, fourths – cramming food onto his saucer (definitely not a plate) each time. This consequently put an enormous amount of strain onto his belt, which then flung open as he left.

Columbo.

Making a comeback

Item: Comb.
Description: Black, full set of teeth.
Location: Arndale Centre, Manchester (outside Foot Asylum).

I always thought the era of guys carrying combs around with them had passed when the Fonz and Happy Days was taken off air in the 80s. So you can imagine my surprise when coming across this one.

Blue-handed minor

Item: Glove.
Description: Black, left hand, would fit a 2-3 year old child.
Location: Oldham Street, Manchester (outside Oxfam).

I knew it was a matter of time before I came across my first glove, and here it is. So if you see/know of/are the kid walking around with a very cold left hand, come claim it. Especially because the weather forecast says it’s going to get extremely chilly by the end of the week.

Then a few metres up the road I came across this:



Item: Dummy.
Description: Orange, blue, white.
Location: Oldham Street, Manchester (by Forbidden Planet).

Could it belong to the same child? If so he/she must be extremely unlucky. Or should that be careless? Either way it doesn’t point to a very bright future. Poor kid. I blame the parents.

A sober Saturday night

Item: Beer keg.
Description: Half barrel.
Location: Corner of Waterloo and Princess Street, Manchester.

Day 1 in my quest to reunite people with their missing items, and I come across this. Can you imagine the horror when the owner tips up at home and realises it's not in their hands? Their heart must've sank. I can only assume it's like the moment you pat your pockets for your keys or wallet and find they're not there.